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I’m cheating, even with this blog.  So I just added this video blog which is pretty much about my day today in a 5 min. video (does that mean I need a life) but I posted it on my other blog, I know, I probably just broke some blog commandment!!  What do you think, should I try to merge the two blogs together? They seem so different but how can that be, since I apart both? Oh I should warn you, I only got 1 hour sleep last night so I’m sure when I wake up tomorrow and read this, I won’t even understand what I’m blogging about!

Really time is an issue today/tonight which is maybe why I shouldn’t wait till my goal (make a blog post every Wednesday) date to update this blog!  I’m back down to 237 and I’m pretty happy that I didn’t spend a good portion of this night stuffing my face with junk food but I am thinking of shaving my head (ok maybe just getting a pixie cut).  So, that made me wonder, does the cycle ever end.  Do will give up one thing only to take something else on?  So every time something stressful is going on in my life somebody better hide the clippers! Well, if that’s the case then I guess I’ll save a lot of money not having to purchase hair care products anymore!

28 to 18

I am 240 pounds today which stinks cause on the 3/17/10 I was 241.7 which means I’m back to my weight from 2 weeks ago ((sighs)).

I’m a cranky mama today, I just tried to upload a video post to my wordpress blog and just learned you have to pay to add videos (so wish I stuck with blogger now) I’m a single mom and I’m not going to spend $57 a year just to post videos on a blog especially when others let you do that for free, so I posted my video over on The Hood.

I knew I was going to gain weight this week but didn’t think it would be that much. My daughter has been sick, I haven’t been to the gym and don’t think water has touch my lips except for when I brush my teeth! I haven’t been eating too poorly ((wink)) so that is good, but last month really I lived off of soup not that I planned it that way, its just all I wanted, it was kinda of strange almost like I craved it everyday. I’ve all so had bread at least 3 times this week (I made veggie burger w/hummus, lettuce and red onion — it was so-o-o good that I made it the following day — yummy) I all so had a slice of pizza (a slice isn’t bad since I use to eat at least 4 or 5). Well, I’m drinking my water now and starting today I will track my food this week to see what I’m putting into my mouth (maybe I should go food shopping first)!

On a positive note, I am down jean sizes!  For Christmas I got a pair of CK Jeans size 20 that are too big!  Not wanting to spend $50 some dollars on jeans while I am losing weight I started getting jeans from Walmart’s Plus Size Department.  So far I have I have out grown my Just My Size 24 & 22 jeans and now I’m an 18!  Oh and my new jeans I got on sale for $3.00 so I was doubly excited!

37 More To Go

I can’t believe that I only have 37 pounds to go and I will be 200 pounds!  I see the numbers going down and the cloths size getting smaller and it all still seems so surreal, I can’t believe that it’s really happening!  I wish I could truly express how excited I am at being so close to weighing 200 pounds, really last June I was 306 pounds!  I wasn’t always this “fat girl” though I was never the “skinny girl” but I was comfortable in my own skin.  After the birth of my daughter I learned just how much of a stress eater I am and that is when I put on a huge amount of my weight but I’m working hard to change all of that and it seems to be working!  See I wasn’t always the “fat girl” here I am when I was much younger and tattoo-less!  

Here are my Wednesday Weigh-In Numbers:

06/01/2009 – 306 pounds

03/31/2010 – 237 pounds

Total loss 69 pounds

02/24/2010 – 251 started  Sisterhood Shrinking Jeans Spring Fling Challenge

03/31/2010 – 237 pounds

Total loss 14 pounds

All in all this has been a great week despite the fact I’ve been a little sick and I think most of my weight loss this week was due to eating mostly soup!  My daughter started back at school again on Monday and she loves it!  She’s only going part-time (8:30-11:30) and I had no idea how much stuff I am able to get done during those hours, it is wonderful!  Everyday this week when she see’s her bus coming she starts to jump up and down while screaming, “My bus!” Please keep her in your thoughts, hopefully she stays healthy enough that she can stay in school (fingers crossed)!

Happy Easter!

Yes, I often have this argument with myself all the time about sucking and not sucking (don’t be dirty girl or boy)!

First I’m going to crunch those numbers, which is the only thing I’ve have been crunching, I need to get to working on my flabby abs!  I am down 1 pound this week, though I could say 1.9 pounds but I don’t want to be disappointed next week so I’ll just keep it at the 1 pounder!  Why the two different numbers, well as soon as I got up I stepped onto the scale, wait I did go to the bathroom first (don’t we all) and to my happy surprise it said 239.8! For breakfast I had  a smoothie for some reason I went back onto the scale and it said 240 but that smoothie was really yummy!  So I’m logging the second weigh in and that’s it, no more scale till next Wednesday!

I’m really enjoying the Sisterhood Spring Fling Challenge, my teammates are great!  I have to say it’s really nice to have a support system and a place to share knowing that others will get it!  I’ve only been on a team twice before in my life and both times weren’t positive experiences.  Once I was on a teen softball team and lets just say the parents weren’t very kind and then in grade school I was on a  cheerleading squad and pretty much I was stuck in the back, way back!  Can’t blame them though, I’m not the most graceful person and I am one of those people who can’t walk and chew gum at the same time!  It wasn’t until I joined the Sisterhood of Shrinking Jeans that I saw how positive it can be to be a part of a team!

OK so here’s the breakdown:

06/01/2009 – 306 pounds

03/24/2010 – 240 pounds

Total loss 66 pounds

02/24/2010 – 251 started challenge

03/24/2010 – 240 pounds

Total loss 11 pounds

Re-training my brain it’s not as easy as it sounds but over all I think I’m getting, slowly but I’m getting it!  I feel like I have many different characters in my head and we argue with each other all the time. I’m trying to evict the negative ones, cause part of this getting healthy journey isn’t just about food! I want to be more positive with myself, with others and I want to surrounded myself with positive people, which is much easier said than done (I live with someone who doesn’t realize how negative their words are). When I woke up this morning the first thing I thought of was that I let my teammates down, the last time I was at the gym was on March 9th!  I spent the rest of that week running around getting ready for the Ruby Gala for Williams Syndrome in DC that weekend.  I had a great time and it was so nice just to sleep in a bed by myself.  I started to feel an intense amount of guilt for how much I enjoyed my night alone because my daughter’s right side of her heart in is failure which means she is at risk for a sudden death event.  So as I was completely sprawled out on this bed I was thinking to myself, what a selfish *itch you are but I’m not, I need to take care of myself so I can take care of my daughter and be the best mom I can to her and I just need to remember that when that guilt starts to seep in.
Below is me having too much fun alone in the room (and NO not that kind of fun! – I’ll be the first to admit I’m a little on the crazy side)!

On Monday the 15th I took my jewel to the playground and it was then I started to get sucked into this black hole.  My daughter doesn’t look sick, you would never know that her heart is in failure which is a blessing cause then you don’t have that constant in your face reminder.

Well, she has developed respiratory issued due to how hard her heart is working and she get’s extremely shorty winded very easily.  While she was at the playground she did a little bit of running (more like waddling) and she started breathing heavy, so I had to get her and sit her down (she doesn’t self regulate herself) and then she started coughing which led to her vomiting some foam.  So seeing your child not to be able to play how she wants and in the back of your mind wondering for that brief second if she’s going to have a cardiac arrest, is pretty heavy stuff.  It’s getting harder mentally with how easily she gets so winded but I try not to think about how sick her heart is.  I try my best not to keep her in a bubble and let her enjoy being a 4 year old.  So I haven’t been able to  get myself motivated enough to go to the gym and each day I would tell myself you suck, you’re failing your team!  But I don’t suck and I didn’t fail them.  Yes, I’ve been in a little bit of a funk these days but I didn’t let myself get sucked into that black hole!  I may not have been to the gym but I have been doing things that I needed and what I needed was to be spending that time with my daughter.  I know some people might be thinking, she couldn’t go to the gym for 2 hours, no I couldn’t.  Instead we did things together, that we do everyday like painting, telling jokes, watching her favorite shows over and over, singing and lots of laughing and that is how I was able to shrink that black hole to nothingness!  So team I may not have been to the gym but I did go for walks with my jewel, which is kind of funny seeing how quickly others do 2 miles in, for us it took us an hour!  But on our walk we stopped to play in the sand, watch the surfers, play on the cars, we talked to strangers, we were present!

I didn’t fail you team with emotional eating, sure I did eat some things not because I was hungry but instead of eating an entire bag of M & Ms I ate 20 Sun Drops (41 pieces is a serving size) which are all natural chocolate candies that look like M & M’s and to me taste so much better.  Instead of an entire bag of Oreo cookies I only ate 2 of Trader Joe’s Joe Joe’s Cookies and man they are delish.  Instead of the king size reese peanut butter cups I went for the Trader Joe’s No Artificial Colors or Flavors, No Preservatives Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup, I had one (3 pieces is a serving) melt-in-your-mouth goodness.  I don’t think I never have a sweet tooth but I have learned to make better choices and it’s getting easier to remember that tomorrow is a new day and I DON’T SUCK!

This is so good

I have tried 90% of the protein drinks out on the market and I didn’t like any of them until I found Orgain!  OMG this stuff is really good and it’s organic!  I’m a chocolate girl myself but I really like their Sweet Vanilla Bean.  Now I’m not getting paid by this company for blogging about their product, I just really like it and after wasting heaps of dollars on other ready to drink meal replacement drinks I’m extremely happy to have found one that doesn’t leave an aftertaste in my mouth and has wholesome ingredients in it and I wanted to share it with you all.  So what’s in it…

  • Contains the equivalent of 10 servings of fruits and vegetables
  • 24 Vitamins and Minerals
  • 16 grams of Organic Protein to help build lean muscle
  • Perfect ration of protein, carbohydrates, and healthy fats for sustained energy
  • Organic pomegranate and green tea extracts
  • Free of caffeine, artificial sweeteners, preservatives and gluten
  • Made with organic fruits and veggies
  • Organic complex carbohydrates
  • Lightly sweetened

Orgain

  • Gain Health
  • Gain Energy
  • Gain Life

Go out and try it, I think you’ll like it! (I drank all my Sweet Vanilla Bean but the Creamy Chocolate Fudge is yummy too)

First here is a picture of my new haircut and color, which you can’t see in this picture but my bangs are red! I went to this gala over the weekend in DC to raise money and awareness for Williams Syndrome and I had a great time. I am in total shock right now cause getting ready for this little overnight stay had my schedule completely off. I haven’t been to the gym in a week now and my numbers went down on the scale! YES, I am now 241.7 so I lost 4.1 pounds in one week, WOOT WOOT! My portions are becoming much smaller which is how it use to be before I put on all this weight, so I am really excited about that. When I hit (I don’t even want to say it) 306 pounds I was hungry all the time and my portions were enormous! It’s getting much easier to make better food choices. I’ve become a big fan of soup, that’s what I get when I’m out or a salad, I usually stick to soup cause of the portion size. I find that when I order a salad it’s huge and I’m not a fan of leftovers and I hate to waste food, so I can finish a small cup of soup with no problem and that’s why I pick that. It’s very rare that I have any bread or soda.  I’m not craving junk food as much as I did before and when I do, I try and find some candy or chocolate that is organic.  I really take my time when I eat and I chew and chew my food and I enjoy it more.  I still need to work on cooking more, which will come.  My goal starting tomorrow is to get back to the gym and drink more water.   Today I enjoyed this beautiful day outside with my daughter.

Another Wed Weigh In

I have so much going on right now so I don’t have much time to blog.  The scale read 246.7 today, which means I am down a total of 59.3 pounds since June of 2009 and -4.3 pounds since I started the spring fling challenge over at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.  I’ve been doing ok with my food intake but not great with making it to the gym this week.  We had our bedroom painted and it seems like I’ve just been running around from store to store trying to get our room in order and things together for the Gala I am attending this weekend in DC.  I guess I’m a little on edge with leaving my Jewel, not to mention being at a black tie event with a bunch of people that I don’t know that well at a size I’m still not happy with, truth of the matter is I wish I was 100 pounds smaller!  I’m so over being the “Fat Girl”